| Old bulletin board |
| Feb. 18th, 2009 |
Disgusting luck! We are horrified to learn the result of the game Deities of Doom - Silverado Snakeskins (Season XXII, round 1) were the foul coldbloods beat a poor chaosteam with a very undeserved margin. As we all know, the Silverado Snakeskins is a very poorly coached team, so only lotto-luder luck or plain cheating can explain the winn. This must have consequenses really, maybe the league admin should reinstate the ageing rule for Silverado Snakeskins, that would teach them not to score undeserved touchdowns!
Also, the smelly snakes doesnt deserve  Wayward Son to have both + ag and + st, as he only got the needed spp's by exploiting the rules of the game. Apart from that, he is very ugly... |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Sep. 23rd, 2008 |
That was absolutely anal!! What looked to be a safe winn of 2-1 was suddenly turned around by a failed dodge by Ingwë and the following use of illigal substances by the chaos players to make an incredible and unlikely touchdown, and the Renegades lost! Ingwë undestandably took his own life in disgrace and disgust, before the touchdown was scored. We hate that chaos team!!! |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Apr. 2nd, 2008 |
Team Building proceeds as planned! The renegades is forming a new grand unbeatable team, and things is going well! After last nights beutifull game we now have diving tackle on our catcher so nobody can dodge against our team ever again, we hired Bruce Willysøvndal (the talented mercenary wardancer of the orc game) and we expect to reach the magical 11 players by the year 2014.
We are heading for yet another season winn and I dont see how it can ever go wrong.... |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Mar. 15th, 2008 |
Players cost victory against the orcs After tonights bitter defeat against Elf Huggers the frustrated coach of the Renegades sends hes players on a long run around the nearby woods, escorted by speararmed guards.
"It must have been nerves, that led to this embarrising defeat, as the boys simply didnt perform! The new linos tended to fall alot over nothing, and the supposed stars just failed the jobs we pay them so much to do."
"Its just not good enough to fumbbl the ball, when you get the chance to winn the game on a simple short pass, but our new pass elf There is a crazy boy! must have been too surprised by finding himself in a situation of having his first winn on a silver plate and the huge oppertunity daunting him to prove his worth. For his sake I hope this will not repeat itself!"
"Our great remaining hope for this season Jean-Claude Forfanden d.2. also underperformed gravely, knocking himself down and failing other simple hits, its just not good enough and he will have to shape up if we are to retake our trophy!"
"Only players really performing was the Mercenary wardancer (if you read this: COME BACK I HAVE A FAT CONTRACT FOR YOU!!) being the mother of two important crowdpushes, our great tree Oldbirch Longleaf for punching around the orcs and the new hitter Jeg er Bitter!! for....hitting!!" |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Nov. 7th, 2007 |
Evil darkelf conspiracy mess with draw Following what cannot be anything but a malicious darkelf plot to bribe the former dwarf coach of Aros performing the 1/8 part final draws, the mighty Eurobowl Champions are now out of the play-offs, while the future looks uncertain for the renegades with many players missing the next game.
Renegade officials are strongly protesting against this act of foul play, and demand that that all 4 darkelf blitzers should be forced to retire....eh, and also one orc and one norse player, now that would be fair !
The game itself was worth a final, and considering the very unworthy behavior by the darkelves, it certainly was the moral final of this season. Until around the middle of the second half, the game was being won by the dwarfs, who had everything going their way driving solid towards the endzone, while the number of the elves was being greatly reduced. But with everything else failing and the Renegade coach pulling out the sad remains of hes hair, the true stars of the team proved their worth. Catcher Pmg the Picker sprinted and wormed himself in assist possition were he later recieved the ball (+ keeping it !) Wardancer Jean-Claude Forfanden d.2. spending all hes moves pounding the talented runner of the dwarfs to the floor, and then lineelf Middleman making the move of hes career, recovering and passing the ball against all odds. Renegades scored 2 turns later, using every trick in the book, and they thought the victory secured. But a last minute amazing score of the dwarves after failing the pickup, litteraly moving the ball from one end of the pitch to another after a failed woodelf pickup next to the runner. Renegades then again proved himself as the king of whining and complaining, but changed his mind when Catcher Pmg the Picker made a last second winning touchdown, using every trick in the book.
Both teams deserved better than to get each other so early, but thanks for a great great game !! |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Oct. 2nd, 2007 |
Player retirement due to poor play After our strategical and very noble handover of the winn to the darkelf loosers, Elwë decided it was time to retire from blood bowl, as he played hes last horrible game. He is now injoying life in retirement in hes lovely northern deepwood home, and has taken up painting and devoted more time to family and friends. Hes replacement, we are sure, will show hes worth shortly. |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Sep. 2nd, 2007 |
Illegal procedure..... ...illegal procedure, illegal procedure, illegal procedure...
Just warming up for season start ;) |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Apr. 30th, 2007 |
Renegades break exile of silence Last seasons greatest team/runners up: the Greyhavien Renegades has finaly broken their vow on not uttering a single word in the common tounge, untill the foulest of foulness, the very evil and also quite rude bunch of loosers known as the Black Widows (did I mention that they probably also cheat by wearing too much ugly armor ?) had been defeated !
The vow is now fullfilled and we of the Deepwood Journal of Fashion & Blood Bowl got to ask the Renegades spokeself some questions:
Reporter/Me/Bringer of truth: "Congrats on making it into the semis, and finally defeating your long time nemesis. How do you see the semis ?"
Spokeself: "Well, the 2 elven teams should be the favorites, as they have the most talented lineups by far. The orcs managed to make it into the semis again, and they are building a decent team and should be considered a worthy outsider, while the skavens with their many injuries looks like the underdog. They surpriced everybody by going this far though and maybe they will surprice again"
RMB: "Im sorry to bring up painfull memories, but everybody wants to know: what excactly happened in that fatal final: Black Widows - Greyhavien Renegades (Season XVII, Final) ?"
Spokeself: "The game was progressing fine, we played our game as usual, scored a virtually unopposed TD and managed to score again after a fine coordinated action to take the ball of the chaos dwarf offense (or w/e you choose to name that stumbling downfield with the ball attatched to a hobgoblin)"
RMB: "But that 2-0 lead against them proved fatal before didnt it ?"
Spokeself: "Sure did, in a previous game of that season the 2-0 lead was also taken, but it seems some foul madness of Hashut takes hold of the Black Widows once they are down more than one TD"
RMB: "Yes, facts say you lost that one 2-3"
Spokeself: "We thought we hit our darkest hour of the season at that particular moment, but it was well contested in this dreadfull final, on the integrity of my pony tail I tell you: ont... "
RMB: "Eh...yes yes, you know many words. Lets proceed with the final shall we ?"
Spokeself: "Hrmpff !? yea well ok. I dont know how they managed to take the ball of our splendid offense, but It seemed they started the drive a good deal of time before the ref blew hes whistle while just "kicking" the ball an inch into our field. Im not pointing any fingers BUT THATS TOTALLY CHEATING !!"
RMB: "Bitter !"
Spokeself: "Endeed, and it got worse. We threw everything we had at the chaos dwarves in their recieving, but little did it help, our players just fell short in every case"
RMB: "That was around the time they killed Joan Ass right ?"
Spokeself: "Yes, what a foul deed ! Wasnt enough for the opposing coach to steal hes name, he had to get rid of him too, but he lives in our memories !"
RMB: "And then the overtime, what a brillant score by your team !"
Spokeself: "Many players was hurt and we only managed to field a few, but quality prevails: It was a great run by Mirascael and the rest of the lads"
RMB: "They scored back though, I saw your attempts to stop them, heroic ! and then the penalty shoot out"
Spokeself: "Yes, that was the biggest load of bull ! We were choosen to kick first and Mir was getting ready for this walkover exercise, when the chaos dwarf coach approached the ref with some small carton bricks painted red. They debated shortly and all the sudden the ref blew hes whistle and the Black Widows all ran to the field cheering. I recall the conversation: "Hey move you...you things, we godda make our kick !" Jonas (CD coach): "Bugger off elf, we have 5 Re-Rolls !" I mean, wtf is that ?? some new kind of bribe ?? *sniff* *sigh* *moan*"
(cut)
RMB: "Anyway, your now in the semis, but your season havent been that impressive. I mean, a draw to the rats, and defeats against the high elves and chaos dwarves ??"
Spokeself: "Yea well, its hard to coordinate your efforts on the field when you have a vow not to speak"
RMB: "Eh well, wasnt it only the common tounge ? couldnt you have spoken elvish ? If I didnt know better I would say that statement sounded a bit like a poor excuse ?"
Spokeself: "So sad you have to leave now. Were gonna have some target practice, and you wouldnt want to get in the way of that ! Hey Jean-C, throw him a HARD one !"
And that was the weekly new bulletin about elves, for elves and to elves. |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Oct. 25th, 2006 |
Walkover rodents "When we tomorrow take down the Woos Welfs from Greyhavien Renegades we will have had the ultimate pleasure to take all four elf races in a row. That has probably never happened before..."
...and will never happen outside your warpstone haze of a mind mr. Filthyfur.
In the wondefull game of bb there are two kinds of teams. Those who boasts before a game, and those who boasts after ^^
Naming a rodent after some weird mythology personae, taken from some fantasy gaming-world where machines fly and Eagles are small as cats, whont make him play like a woodelf, EVER !
Those where the only comments made by the Woodelf spokeself after the, admittedly too small, victory over the rats with silly names. |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Mar. 7th, 2004 |
What a grand victory, we’ve been home celebrating all night dancing around, doing each others hair and stuff…
“Our noble sportsmen were really psyched up for this game and came out ferocious like thunder-gods, their hatred of all unnatural natures granted by the Chaos gods, burning hot in their minds. We showed the world that beauty and goodness still has a place in this ancient game, I’m touched to the core of my soul.” Said the head coach of Greyhavien in the short interview with spike magazine after the game, before he got carried away by his team.
After 3 games Greyhavien Renegades have indeed shown some strength and potential, and could werry well be on their way to the play-offs. Many great opponents still remains to be beaten, Orcs, Dwarfs, Reptiles and more Rats, but u can be certain; we hate them all, so beware !!! (our relationship with the little bearded things are ambivalent, they are good natured….but live in holes and worry to much about dead things like rocks or gold. And most important of all, they don’t undestand the superiority of fair beings like elves, imagine...) |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Feb. 25th, 2004 |
With the easy victory snatcht away from under our werry noses in the last second of the match against the beardy things of the Brag Fakers, wee ours-elves found us crying with disbelieve as the ref blew the whistle: 2-2. Everything was looking good after a display of superior talent and tactics by Greyhavien in the first half, we where up 2-0, not hurting, with our spotless hair-jobs mocking the little ones. We are charitable beings and thus allowed the Fakers to score a TD making it 2-1 (of course that gave us back possession of the ball as well), all we had to do now was score and the match would be won, we could only field 8 players though, but hey…we are the greenest of elves. But boy oh boy did someone fuck up, flashy Dancer Celeborn Elyan did not do he’s job to clear the way for the score and the score was delayed as a quick decision was made to play it safe. Next turn Gil 'Greycloak' Galad broke free from he’s incompetent ‘coat’ and ran for the end-zone, proper protection failed to arrive though, so he was hit, injured and dropped the ball close to the end zone. Dwarfs now “ran” to protect the ball while their runners, caught by surprise by the move, hurried to the scene. To make it nigh on impossible for the dwarfs to score, all we had to do was to take out the passer or the downfield “Catcher” which we did (passer had he’s cover blown away by Celeborn Elyan and thus found himself surrounded and he’s way to the ball blocked by an almost irremovable player), since everything had worked out for him in the match so far, scoring TD and all, Artanis Van Ity was feeling flashy and left he’s duty tying up the Troll Slayer blitzing treat, to go for the ball. What a stroke of vanity, of course he failed the dodge, of course the now free Slayer Blitzed away Celeborn Elyan, of course the little monkey-runner picked up the ball threw an accurate long pass to the other little monkey-runner who of course Catched the thing running to hand it of to the Blitzer who of course also made the Catch and the go-for-it for the equalizing TD in the last second. What a disgusting move of hubris !!
Join www.maketackleatraitandlongbeards120kfor... |
| - Rolf L. |
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| Oct. 10th, 2003 |
“Bad hair day for graceful elves”, noted head coach Rolf L. in response to the 2-1 defeat of Greyhavien against the fat little hat things and their sneaky ‘employees’ of the Haznutz Hutz. Not many seconds had passed after the kick-of of this, our fist match in ABBL, before a foul rain began to pour down. Not only did the soaking spoil the slick divine looks of ours-elves (this massive liquid assault proved to be to much to handle, even for the new waterproof Elf-Vital hair gel with magic hold), but the unnatural slipperiness of the ball proved to be the end of our passing game, even picking up the thing caused us problems (the opposition as well, but that’s more like a part of their game plan), and it was only through a determined display of talent that Wardancer Celeborn Elyan made the leading touchdown at the beginning of the first half. After that the match seemed to degenerate into a mindless brawl, as the ‘fallen’ dwarfs didn’t even attempt to pass the ball around and look good, an anti-graceful stile of play, we feel, that kind of undermines the concept of pass-n-dodge bowl (the elvis name for Blood Bowl in direct translation).
“It was newer our intend to fight them, but with the muddy pitch and all it often proved safer to dodge away and lend assists to blocks than using the all over dodge-away tactic, sadly a failed dodge often left other elf’s to the flawed mercy of the uglies…” said lineelf Haldir Denõdel, man of the match for Greyhavien, and coach Rolf L. continues “we kept up the casualty causing pressure because we felt that the game-winning sack was within reach in both of the drives of the dwarves , especially when we succeeded to isolate ball carrier Smooth Shadow (after his initial failed pickup) early in the second half, but the departure of Wardancer Celeborn E. at the same point (some kind of sudden erupted headache) left the 2-dice blitz to less competent elves and was thus unsuccessful. When we succeeded to blitz free the ball, one of the line of successful dodges required to get it failed, and Smooth, the little monkey, picked it up again an ran unharassed towards to the winning TD in the dying seconds of the match (our 4 linos still playing was on the ground in lots of tackle-zones, they tried bravely to the end though).“… “ but in retrospective the victory of any of the teams was equally deserved after an intense and close match were the Hattie’s played well to their potential to remove us from the field, and thus our defeat is ok, though the feelings in the dressing room after the game was that of disbelieve.” The coach concludes.
This game leaves the renegades of Grey Havens a somewhat dismembered team for the next match, the team masseur/mental-adviser had chosen to delay himself for the match (some mindless babbling about him not getting paid his 50 K) so he could not prevent the ehm… untimely departure of lineelf Sindel Showof after an unfortunate ‘base to base’ contact with a smelly hobgob, or the sustained injury of lino Isaniel Nain. He have now received his bloodstained money and are working hard to heal the wounds and ‘inner’ scars of the players before the next match.
We did manage to give a little back to the Hattie’s as the observer may notice, the cowthing Greatstride strolls the green fields of this world no more, Hybris drove him to run faster than is good for his kin, and he was tripped in the mud by Nemesis and broke his neck in the fall. |
| - Rolf L. |
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Greyhavien Renegades
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