Phew - what a season opener!!! With only a few minutes left on the clock in the second half and with the Apple Pie Mayhem down 0 to 1 Tummy Paunch decided to take matters in to his own tiny hands. There seems to be no ending to this brave hobbit's abilities. Deep into halfling territory he dodged into 4 tacklezones (with 4 long beards covering the ball) - picked it up and dodged out running as fast as he could towards the dwarven end zone. That seemed to upset the dwarven coach quite a lot - and he was called for not one - but two illegal procedures after that incident. And in the mean while Tummy Paunch strolled down the sideline to make it the end score 1-1. An amazing achievement - especially considering that the halfling apothecary (Porky Choppa) was feeling ill before the game (Mickey Finn) and 4 players did not show up due to a Virus among several important halfling players - but who cares as long as we've got the one, the only, the bold, the brave the all mighty Tummy Paunch :-D
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Apr. 22nd, 2004
What coach Gugelhupf dreaded the most came true - the Apple Pie Mayhem drew last seasons champions the mighty Halfdead Clawkillers - oh dear oh dear! The 'flings chose to kick the ball in the first half since the chaos team could only field 9 players at the start of the match (handicap). That seemed to be the right decision even deep into the second half - and when Spruce Woodwind managed to throw Tummy Paunch downfield in turn 5 of the second half the hafling fans were holding their breath. But alash, the otherwise so reliable superstar Tummy Paunch crashed to the ground (missed a 4+ roll twice) - if he would have landed only one chaos player was in range to make the blitz (2d block no rr) and we can only dream about what would have happended then... However, it was not to be and instead Tummy Paunch was badly hurt and had to be caried of the field. The ag 2 chaos player then ran downfield to grab a hold of the ball and made, then later made a hand off to chaos warrior who dodged and went downfield toward the halfling endzone scoring the winning td in the eight turn of the second half. So close and yet so far away form qualifying for the quarter finals. Yet there was standing ovations from the halfling crowd after the game (+1 ff) whereas the chaos fans booh'ed at their team (- 1 ff) since they were obviously not satisfied with the narrow win. In the end there were two treemen and two halfings left on the pitch and players were racked up in the injury box (10 casulaties against). All in all the halfing team played a very bad game - but hey no wonder when you are shaking too much to even hold the ball in your tiny hands standing next to a vicous chaos beastman (with block, tackle, mighty blow, claw) or a huge chaos warrior... The 'flings were simply outpowered in the end - but fans all over Greenfield are still thinking about what might had happened if only Tummy Paunch had landed on his feet...
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Apr. 19th, 2004
Coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf of the Apple Pie Mayhem is a bit puzzled by Bet for your life's recent annoucement of their Odds on who´ll take the championship this year. "We deserve bigger credit than that (odds 25,0 ed.) - after all we tied last years runner up (The Snails ed.) during regular season and only lost one game - so I think odds around 7-9 would be more realistic...", Gugelhupf said at todays pre-playoff press conference/buffet. And he continues "The way I see it we will at least go to the semi's if we can avoid playing that nasty Chaos-team The Clawkillers" (10 casulaties against in last showdown between the two teams ed.) Gugelhupf said to wrap things up. So expectations are high in Greenfield even though several elven sports commentators from RTElf have predicted that qualifying for the playoffs will prove to be fatal for the 'flings - and they seriously doubt that there will in fact be a team named Apple Pie Mayhem in the AROSBB-league next season...
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Mar. 30th, 2004
PLAYOFFS HERE WE COME!!! A 2-2 tie against the Snails was enough to secure a place in the playoffs for the stouted little fellows. Several things showed to be in favor of the 'flings in this game. A mysterious virus break out among two of the Snails' players and the fact that the ref had his eye on the dirty rats during the entire game (under scrutiny) certainly helped the brave Mayhem players quite a bit. Besides they thought that they had signed a lucrative sponsorship deal with Blood Weiser. However, when the game ended they were only paid 30.000 gold pieces (2d6 + 1!!!)... Anyway, the little buggers were determined to go to the playoffs since coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf had told them that the post game feast is waaaaay bigger at those games than they are during regular season. That seemed to inspire Chubby Merrychap who scored a td to tie the game 1-1 in the first half - and later Barry Bunkerbunny who scored a flying td to go ahead 2-1. Unfortunately the skaven team tied the game again - and that turned to be all of the scoring in that game. All in all regular season has been a bit of a fairy tale for the 'flings - and because of yet another kill - they are currently in the lead of the Most Lethal Team chart - who would have guessed that before the season started? On the downside the game against the Snails was the last of its kind for Pinky Puddleshore who will now be joining several of his former team mates in the eternal fields of bacon and candy floss - R.I.P. and may he be blessed with lots of iced buns in the after life. This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Mar. 24th, 2004
A 2-0 victory and the Apple Pie Mayhem look playoff bound. Because of a smear campaign run during the week by the goblinoid press a lot of halfling supporters chose to stay at home (only 17.000 'flings fans. FF: 8) even though this particular game must be characterized as the single most important game in franchise history. A win would most likely secure a spot in the playoffs which would be an amazing accomplishment. And win they did. Not because of spectacular plays but simply because their opponent had pretty much decided to give away the win. The gobbos played a terrible game - the trolls would not do what the coach asked them to do, the gobbos could not pick up the ball, they could not dodge, they could not throw, they could not... However, things turned out way better for the 'flings as Fluffy Baconbreath ran for an early td. Later in the first half Tummy Paunch scored another td to secure the historic win. "I can't believe it" coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf said after the game "...does this mean we are going to the playoffs? Do you get extra food at the post match feast at those games?" The reporter could not confirm that affirmatively but hopefully we are soon to find out...
Notes: Spruce Woodwind killed Captain Backstabber who was, however, saved by the gobbo apoth - but the kill means that the 'flings tie for first place as most lethal team again.
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Mar. 16th, 2004
Third victory in what can best be described as a team effort by the Apple Pie Mayhem. The Treemen were vicious Tremor Oldwood inflicted 1 casualty and Spruce Woodwind inflicted 3 - and Tummy Paunch made his 3 kill!!! Td-scorers were Chunky Stoutfellow and Fluffy Baconbreath. The amazon players didn't seem like they cared too much about playing Blood Bowl - maybe because the halflings (who do look kind of cute and have a striking resemblance to kids wearing their little outfits) took advantage of Dødsdromsdøtrenes maternal instincts? Anyhow the amazons did not inflict a single casualty (the 3 casulaties were inflicted by fans or the 'flings themselves...) yet even make a single completion since they were too busy caressing what they believed to be babies... However, when one of the amazons tried to breast feed Tummy Paunch - he had to draw the line - and so he did - the apoth saved her though.
Two games to go before the playoffs and would you know it - the 'flings stand a pretty good chance of actually advancing...
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Mar. 9th, 2004
The humans of the Grünburg Gryphons proved to be too big of a challenge for the halflings of the Apple Pie Mayhem who lost 1-2. Not because the Gryphons outpowered the 'flings in particular but they simply played better this evening. The Gryphons started out with a fast td - an impressive long bomb by Matthäus Kunt caught by Friedrich Schillums. The following play they rolled a blitz - and the 'flings found themselves struggling. Yet they came pretty close to a td in the last turns of the first half but great defensive play by Arnold Swartch prevented it. By the way after that play Arnold Swartch apparently thought that he had earned his paycheck for the day so he was more interested in the halfling hot dog stand on the sideline for the greater part of the rest of the game. The 'flings continued to struggle in the second half - the trees making bad blocking plays (double skulls) and the 'flings having a hard time picking up the ball. It all resulted in a td for the Gryphons' Hansemann von Lücter. In the end the 'flings made a consoling flying td by Chubby Merrychap who as a result of that is now a Major in the Royal Greenfield Air Force.
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
Notes: Fluffy Baconbreath was voted mvp of the game after a spectacular short pass!
- Calle
Mar. 2nd, 2004
HALFLING BOMBERS STRIKES AGAIN!!! Things were looking extremely bad for the 'flings after a first half from hell....well actually hell is the wrong way of describing it since a blizzard swept across the Norse Stadium during the first 8 turns. Not only did that make it almost impossible for the little fellows to get anywere (after all it is not easy to dodge and go for it in half a meter of snow when you're only just a bit more than 1 meter tall yourself!!!) - but it also prevented both treemen from getting to the stadium in time for the first kick off... So the players of the Apple Pie Mayhem slipped on the ice, they were knocked down by the Vikings, they got smashed by the Minotaur and they got.... uuuuhhhh it was not pretty!!! The Vikings scored even though the 'flings received the ball and apothecary Porky Choppa had a hard time keeping up with all the players that were racking up in the KO'd and injury box... However, as we have mentioned so many times before - it ain't over 'till the fat halfling sings! In the break at half time the two treemen finally showed up - and with the treemen followed the sun!!! Perfect BB-weather during the second half - and the remaining halfling players on the field went bezerk. The Norse players weren't able to pick up the ball and thus Tremor Oldwood threw an amazing 3 (!!!) flying td's in just 4 turns - 2 td's by Chubby Merrychap and one by superstar Tummy Paunch - and suddenly the Apple Pie Mayhem found themselves up 3-1... Talk about an amazing comeback. The Vikings were stunned but still managed to get one last td (which was the second of the evening for Herluf Regnersøn).
That actually makes it a 3-game winning streak for the 'flings (if you count last seasons last game) - and a jubilant headcoach Schwabbisch von Gugelhupf had to pinch his arm to see if he was in fact awake after the game: "I have never seen anything like this before - there was no room for us on the ground so we had to take our game to a higher level - in this case through the air..."
Notes: Chubby Merrychap now holds the rank of Captain in the Royal Greenfield Air Force because of his 2 flying td's of tonights game. Tummy Paunch now holds the rank of Lieutenant in the Royal Greenfield Air Force because of his flying td.
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Feb. 24th, 2004
Phew - what a start!!! The chubby fellows won 1-0 - and the snobbish high elves of the Viby Eagles won't be sleeping very well tonight... Even though both Spruce Woodwind and rookie treeman Tremor Oldwood showed up late due to sleeping in the Greenfield Forrest the rest of the team played heroicly in the first half. It was a comfort that Deeproot Strongbranch was lending a helping branch and the snob elves seemed to be rather distracted by coach Schwabbisch von Gugelhupf who was cooking hot dogs at the side line... Anyway after a few disastrous plays by the Eagles in the first half Tummy Paunch did it again - he scored the only td of the game - his achievements have become almost legendary in Greenfield these days. The Apple Pie Mayhem spend the second half pounding their way up the field but not fast enough (if they were in fact going for the endzone?). Tremor Oldwood inflicted 2 serious injuries and thus got of to a good start. On the downside Mungo Moofiecake was killed - he was later paid a last tribute since the halfling reporters in the stadium voted him the mvp of the game.
After the game coach Schwabbisch von Gugelhupf was asked how he had managed to motivate his players before the game: "Actually it's pretty easy since the term "season opener" tend to make our halfling players think of a "seasoned steak" which boosts our morale quite dramatically..."
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Jan. 19th, 2004
With the purchase of treeman Tremor Oldwood (former Brightwood Tempest-player) - expectations are high in Greenfield - "This season we will be play off bound for sure..." said coach Gugelhupf after the pre season press conference/buffet. The Apple Pie Mayhem finances have never been better and Gugelhupf has promised that Deeproot Strongbranch will appear several times on the roster the coming season. Furthermore coach Gugelhupf has been spending most of the off season learning how to cook - old halfling hot pot style - and I bet ya that will annoy an opponent or two in season 12...
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Nov. 30th, 2003
A sad message from Apple Pie Mayhem after the spectacular victory against the Back Breakers. After scoring the winning td Gark’n’Dork tried to find his addoptive father Wally Wunniesnark in the stands - but all his efforts were in vain... As we all know Wally Wunniesnark was sadly killed in his first apperance for the Apple Pie Mayhem in the first game of season 10, - the halflings have been trying to explain this to Gark, however, not until tuesday nights game all the pieces seemed to come together for the rather dim ogre... Gark’n’Dork was so sad to find out that "Wally-daddy" had gone to the eternal fields of bacon and candyfloss that he has pronounced that he would not be playing for Apple Pie Mayhem anymore (I tell you a 2,50 meter, 400 kg sobbing ogre is not a pretty sight, ed.). Coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf was of course devastated about these news "We will never be able to replace a player like Gark’n’Dork - he is simply just one of a kind". Rumour has it though that the 'flings are already on the look for a replacement - and supposedly an even bigger player than Gark!!!
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Nov. 25th, 2003
VICTORY!!! Halflings believe in happy endings - and the last game of the season certainly qualified as one of them... Tummy Paunch made yet another heroic play in the first half when a dwarven runner thought he stood safely at the sideline with protection from a blitzer and a longbeard. However, Tummy "the Blimp" Paunch managed to knock down the dwarf (three-dice block: two double knock down and a push back) and the ball went into the stands. A bunch of halfling fans threw the ball downfield towards the dwarven endzone (12 paces) - and suddenly a sure td for the dwarfs turned into a disastrous situation. Gark’n’Dork then had one of his brighter moments and thought "Hey - if I take that tiny stouted fellow beside me and hurl him down da field - we might get one of those tuz-durn thingies...!" And so he did - Pinky Puddleshore went flying and landed perfectly, picked up the ball and ran in for the td. 1-0 and what a shocker for the dwarfs. The Back Breakers did, however, manage to score before halftime so the score was 1-1 at the half time snack whistle. Apparently most of the Apple Pie Mayhem fans thought that the entire game was over and they came running onto the field (riot 5 turns!!!). Coach Scwabisch von Gugelhupf claims that it was not planned but from the grin on his face after the game we are not quite sure about that. Anyway after several block and blitzes and a fumbled throw the ball scattered and was suddenly caught by a surprised Gark’n’Dork. He did not quite know what to do about that - but when the entire squad (including the several players in the KO'd and injury box), the fans, the coach and team apoth Porky Choppa were all yelling "RUN THAT WAY, GARK, THAT WAY!!!" - surprisingly he knew what to do - he made the blitz (knocking down a troll slayer) and after that he dodged like a wardancer and went running like he had never run before - and what do you know he made the game-winning td!!! HOW ABOUT THAT 2-1!!! And who said miracles don't happen? A perfect way to end the season - and yet again the chubby little fellows made it to the off-season :-D
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Nov. 19th, 2003
Wow, what a show the 'flings put on this evening! An exellent tie 0-0 - there's a party going on in Greenfield tonight! Tummy Paunch continued his casualty-spree and seriously injured a wight on the opposing undead team Cold Blood BBC and Gark’n’Dork followed in the halflings footsteps... The undead got a bit too greedy and tried to make a foul on the knocked down Mayhem-ogre - but Gark’n’Dork was screaming so loud that the ref saw it and called a penalty - and that was fortunately the end of the first half - with a wight standing but one square from the end zone... The 'flings fought bravely in the second half - killing seconds and minutes off the clock - and it almost seemed like the halflings had the ball on a string since everything was bouncing their way. Coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf was shining with pride after the game "the boys did well tonight - make no mistake - we'll be the team to look for next season"... Well that might be biting off more than he can chew -but hey he is a halfling after all, so who knows?
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Nov. 10th, 2003
"These guys were just plain evil..." a shocked coach of the Apple Pie Mayhem (Schwabish von Gugelhupf, ed.) said after the game against Zhatan's Disciples. By the final whistle only two players were left on the pitch (Spruce Woodwind and Mungo Moofiecake) which pretty much tells you how ugly it got tonight... Spruce Woodwind made 2 casualties and Tummy Paunch was voted MVP of the game and those were the highlights seen from a halfling point of view. Well actually Munchy aka "sir eatalot" managed to make an incredible 2 (!) completions, however he did not make it to the post match feast as he was torn to pieces by a rather unfriendly downright mean Chaos dwarf Blocker. May he rest in peace - we will never forget his spectacular quick passes... Gark’n’Dork was killed early on in the game but team apothecary Porky Choppa managed to bring him back to life by holding a hot pot with meat balls and gravy under the Ogre's nose. Later on (in the second half from hell) , however, the ogre was brutally downed again and he was badly hurt for the remainder of the game. The Apple Pie Mayhem will be giving free psychiatric help to every player on the team before next weeks game against another dwarven team... the Back Breakers, oh dear oh dear....
This message was borught to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Nov. 4th, 2003
Even the help of star treeman Deeproot Strongbranch did not prove to be enough for the unfortunate 'flings - another 1-2 loss and yet again a dissapointed crowd (- 1 fanfactor). Apple Pie Mayhem looked to tie the game late in the first half but Barry Bunkerbunny crashed to the ground after an otherwise nice throw by Strongbranch. In the second half Chubby Merrychap showed why he currently holds the halfling record in 35 meter dash as he sprinted down the sideline to tie the game 1-1. The Pirates, however, managed to score quickly again and the 'flings looked to face another loss. They got a last chance when the humans looked as if they thought the game was already over and were headed for the showers (illegal procedure) - all the 'flings had to do was to make a simple hand off and a go for it and the end score would be 2-2 - but alash it was not to be... In the end we have to mention that Tummy Paunch is now currently no. 3 at the top-killers list - HOW ABOUT THAT FOR A KILLERHALFLING!!!
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Oct. 21st, 2003
1-2 and yet another loss. "I am tired of losing in the dying seconds of every single game" coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf was heard saying after the game between Apple Pie Mayhem and Stone Curve. The 'flings fought bravely but it was not enough - they did however, manage to make some spectacular plays. Halfling powerhouse Tummy Paunch made a lethal block on Perighram Heicker (who after medical attention came back to life though) and Munchy aka "sir eatalot" actually managed to knock down the opponent ogre Morguhl(he was stunned!). Other than that Gark’n’Dork threw a flying td which was scored by Barry Bunkerbunny who now holds the rank of Captain in the Royal Greeenfield AIr Force. The fans were a bit dissapointed again and lately it seems like fewer spectators meet up at Apple Pie Mayhems games but coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf promise that the 'flings will improve in the near future "I have got good news for our fans since we have managed to persuade Star Treeman Deeproot Strongbranch to participate in our next game - he has been a bit sad about how his favourite halfling team has been performing in the past few games so he has decided to lend a helping hand..." Well if that's not a treat for the fans I surely don't know what is!
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Oct. 14th, 2003
Oh no! The Mayhem players could almost taste victory (or at least a tie which is the equivalent in Greenfield) - and then everything suddenly went wrong. In the end the 'flings faced a 0-1 loss which was almost unbearable to coach Gugelhupf since the 'flings had looked like they could actually take home their first victory (and only) of the season deep into the second half - the score 0-0 and the halfling-train driving cheerfully down the field. But then in a matter of 2 turns (turn 7 and 8) all hopes were crushed and the amazon players scored the decisive td. This was the third time in a row the halflings found their opponents scoring in their last turn in the second half - and this one really hurt since it was soooooooo close... :-( Well there's always the next game but coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf will have lots to see to in order to highten team spirit before next weeks game.
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Oct. 8th, 2003
1-2 loss and back to the good old casualty against ratio... These were the hard facts for the otherwise merry 'flings. Spruce Woodwind threw one td as he send Barry Bunkerbunny down the field with a beautiful pass to tie the game in the middle of second half - but it showed to be too early as the undeads then took over and scored a rather unusual (for undeads) td which did not include the funeral parade tactics. Quite a few things did not work out very well for the 'flings at last nights game, however, Gark’n’Dork who was frustrated about his teams bad plays took it out on the Reapers Hellstürm who as a result is no more... not even in the underworld! Former Cadet Barry Bunkerbunny has now been assigned the rank of Lieutenant of the Royal Greenfield Air Force as a result of his flying td - congratulations.
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Sep. 30th, 2003
A pretty good start for the Apple Pie Mayhem as they tied the Dominions of Chaos 1-1. The 'flings managed to keep the score 0-0 at halftime and in the second half Tummy Paunch (who was also later voted MVP) scored a td. Unfortunately the chaos dwarfs also managed to score one on their own in turn 16! Anyway, all in all it was a good game - Mayhem won 4-3 in casualties (2 by Gark’n’Dork and 2 by Spruce Woodwind - one was a kill!) and only one halfling player got killed - Fruppi Honeydoodle - so it seems that coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupfs new "damage control tactics" payed off. Actually coach Gugelhupf had every right to be proud of his recent achievements since he also recieved the "coach-trophy" before the kick off - causing standing ovations among the many halfling fans. After the game Spruce Woodwind said: "Mmmmmmmmm......I got sooooo mad that they killed that poor little chubby guy ( Fruppi Honeydoodle ed.) so I decided mmmmmmmm to tear the head off that annoying troll......" ( Fido "the Wise" ed.)
This post game note was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Sep. 27th, 2003
New psychological measures have been part of Apple Pie Mayhems pre season training camp. As an example coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf has been reading the entire squad different kinds of stories in order to try to highten the team spirit. Among the favorites are "David against Goliath" and "The Little Engine that Could". And remember it's not about winning - it's about surviving...
This message was brought to you by OMNIMAX - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Sep. 16th, 2003
Today at 3 PM Apple Pie Mayhem will be hosting a pre-season press conference. At this event coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf will try to wrap up the results of season X and answer questions concerning the coming season 11. Of course there will be free pop and iced buns for everyone who shows up (but you better show up early 'cause a halfling who is out for a free meal is one fast halfling!) Earlier on this month Gugelhupf described season X as having been a grand success - whereas sports journalists of the Greenfield Gazette have been more critical and describes the season as a moderate one. Anyway, these are the facts from Apple Pie Mayhem's first season in AROSBB-league: Games won: 1 Games lost: 5 TD-score: 9-13 Casualty score: 7-38 (average: 1.17-6.33!) Kills: 1-10 (average: 0.17-1.67!)
- oh yes and by the way Apple Pie Mayhem have bought bigger helmets and stronger shoulder pads for the coming season - hopefully that will bring down the rather depressing casualties and kills against ratios...
- Calle
Aug. 12th, 2003
As the next season it getting closer day by day, coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf of the Apple Pie Mayhem would like to make a few suggestions concerning possible rule changes in the comming season. 1) All players must at all times be wrapped in at least ten meters of bubble wrap. 2) Second half is abolished in favour of a big meal with lots of cakes, meat, potatoes and gravy and so on... 3) Tackling and blocking is strictly prohibited - you may, however, ask the bloke with the ball nicely to hand over the ball. 4) During all breaks in the game you are allowed 2 iced buns and one cup of 'pop. 5) Spectators taller than 1,20 meter are not allowed to enter any BB-stadium, whatsoever. 6) Magic is not allowed - unless it involves creation of food. 7) First half is abolished in favour of a big meal with lots of cakes, meat, potatoes and gravy and so on...
We hope that the honourable BB-council will consider these humble suggestions, please do, we beg you pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase........
- Calle
Mar. 25th, 2003
Loss - but what a loss!!! The Mayhem were downed 4-3 but all in all coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf was satisfied with the halfling performance today. Gark’n’Dork finally woke up and threw 2 flying td's (Chubby Merrychap who also scored an additional td and Barry Bunkerbunny). 2 players did not make it to the off season new kid on the block Puggy Hairytoe and the big hero from last game against the Loren Dodgers Poochy Fatfellow. During this season opposing teams have inflicted 38 casualties against the Apple Pie Mayhem and among them 10 kills!!! The Hormonal Junkies did not show any mercy today either as they inflicted 7 casualties (2 kills). The Mayhem only inflicted 1 which was a solo-injury where an amazon player tripped while dodging - however, the Mayhem fans really got into it as they invaded the pitch once and threw rocks at another time - both incidents lead to 2 flying td's :-) In the end 3-4 players on the pitch was not enough for the 'flings (4-5 players spend most of the game eating iced buns in the KO'ed box) and the amazons scored their final td. Still the Apple Pie Mayhem has not given up hope and don't be surprised if they return next season, fatter and more fragile than ever.......
This message was sponsored by Omnimax - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Mar. 25th, 2003
Hmmm actually we did leave the field once without scoring but that game was too traumatic for us to remember ;-) (Quote: Schwabisch von Gugelhupf)
- Calle
Mar. 25th, 2003
Loss again - coach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf was not at all satisfied with his teams performance against the Loren Dodgers who edged the Mayhem 2-1. Apothecary Porky Choppa had a quiet day as only 4 players of the Mayhem team were injured (and noone died!!!) - and he did not feel like bringing along his halfling chef hot pot. The 'flings did not seem to bother, though, since the team had received a Bloodweiser sponsership deal before the game so they were drinking like only halflings can drink (erh well, and maybe dwarfs...) Most of the halfling players played ok even though they had a lot of pints, - Gark’n’Dork however, got so drunk that he was incapable of doing anything right during almost the entire game (6 times bone head!!!). The big Ogre still has a hard time understanding the loss of his dad Wally Wunniesnark (who died in round 1) - and Dork was calling out "Wally-daddy - where are you?" several times during the game (Dork still has not received a single SPP during 5 games!!!). Play of the day goes to Poochy Fatfellow who actually managed to kill star thrower Forrest Dump jr. of the Loren Dodgers - the elves were really shaking in their green tights as their apothecary came to the rescue - luckily for them he managed to revive Forrest using some elven magic... Poochy also managed to score a td which means that Apple Pie Mayhem still has not left the field scoreless.
This was brought to you by Omnimax - the halfling kitchen at home!
- Calle
Mar. 11th, 2003
Oh dear, oh dear!!!! "This is by far the worst experience I have ever had as coach and in life as a peacelovin' halfling alltogether" - halfling headcoach Schwabisch von Gugelhupf was shaking his bowed head in agony after the dreadful game against the mercyless chaos team the Halfdead Clawkillers. The 'flings only lost 2-1 td-wise, however the casualty score was a whopping 2-10 deficit as halflings were getting smacked allover the place. It was not pretty at all. Maybe the terrible outcome had a bit to do with the absence of powerhouse treeman Spruce Woodwind who had fallen a sleap in the woods and did not attend the game before second half. When he finally came he was all buzzed up as he had been drinking 40 gallons of coffee before entering the stadium (buzzing). It was all too late though and the only consolation in the end was that now the Apple Pie Mayhem has finally met all the ruthless, insanely violent teams of group A and will now be looking forward to some nice friendly games in Loren and against some really hot chicks.......
- Calle
Mar. 5th, 2003
Close but no cigar for the Apple Pie Mayhem who actually managed to put the mighty Sikoinerz team under a great deal of pressure. However, in the end the score was 1-2 in favour of the Psycho Dwaves. "We played a great game today - the players really deserve a post game snack after this performance" coach Schwabisch Gugelhupf said after the game. Apothecary/halfling chef Porky Choppa had a busy day as the Sikoinerz inflicted 7 casualties (only 1 will be missing next game though) and the lack of players on the Mayhem team may in fact have played a decisive role (that's how Guggelhupf would like to look at it, anyway). Afterall the 'flings managed to score the first td of the game even though Sikoinerz received the kickoff. This upset was caused by truly amaing plays firstly by Sego Beefbunker who managed to dodge into 5 tacklezones, pick up the ball, dodge out again and pass the ball for a completion to Chubby Merrychap who then ran like there was a hot dog stand in the Sikoinerz end zone. However, it was not enough for Chubby who found himself surrounded the next turn by 2 hobgoblins, 2 psycho dwarves and 1 bull centaur!!! Well desperate times calls for desperate measures and so Chubby succeeded (3 dice blitz Sikoinerz decided dice pick) in pushing away a hobgoblin dodging out and going for it for the td - HOW ABOUT THAT!!! In the end the Apple Pie Mayhem got outpowered though as especially Lil' Asger went bezerk in a casualty spree. Blæs Incarnate scored in the dying minutes of the first half and Lille Palle in the dying minutes of the second half. Sikoinerz coach Snegzilla got send off because he was so upset by his players performance that he nearly exploded in outrage - however, the 'fling fans (as usual) really enjoyed the game (increase in fanfactor) and I for one would not be surprised if there is at least 1 more victory left for the 'flings before the wonderfull off season kicks in...... This message was sponsored by Omnimax - the Halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Feb. 24th, 2003
A disastrous game for the Apple Pie Mayhem that was what it was in the eyes of the neutral spectator - 3 'flings got killed (one saved by team apothecary Porky Choppa) and one got a smashed hip. The reason why no names are mentioned is because of the fact that there was a heavy blizzard during the entire second half so it was very hard to see anything. The halfling fans seemed to be thrilled about the game even though they could not see much (which was probably for the better considering the mayhem that took place on the field and it was the Apple Pie Mayhem that was the victim). Instead the fans spent their time drinking hot chocolate and eating nice warm hot dogs and pop- khorne - and everyone was enjoying themselves (increase in fanfactor). In the end the score was 0-2 for the dwarven team Granite Grunchers - however their fans were not satisfied at all about the game and were booing at the dwarfs when they left the field (decrease in fanfactor). Weird since it was the 'flings that got absolutely nothing out of the game (a freebooter got the mvp-award). Still even more small fans from Greenfield will show up at the next game - the Apple Pie Mayhem is more popular than ever..... This message was sponsored by Omnimax - the halfling kitchen at home.
- Calle
Feb. 19th, 2003
What a win for the 'flings - 3-1 against the norse team Kislev Ravens who seemed to be very surprised about Apple Pie Mayhems air attack. Both Gark'n'Dork and Spruce Woodwind were throwing halflings all over the place which did not seem to harm the small fat fellows at all. During the first half Gark and Spruce both managed to throw one turn td's despite of the very sunny weather and all the small fellows were dodging like they were AG5 wood elves. In the dying minutes of the second half free booter Poochy Fatfellow secured the win with the final td. That really seemed to upset the proud vikings and they responded immediately by killing innocent halfling Wally Wunniesnark whos first game in the league also became his last..... R.I.P.
- Calle
Feb. 17th, 2003
The Apple Pie Mayhem have just hired their new head coach who signed a deal moments ago. From now on and 2 years forth, former Chairman of the High Council of Tasty Desserts, Schwabisch von Gugelhupf, will be in charge of the halfling team. Earlier on this week von Gugelhupf was quoted saying "I think the board should hire me since I have already worked out a great plan where I can assure them and all our fans that a minimum of 5,07% of the teams players will get through the season alive". Apparently that has convinced the board and now we are all looking forward to some action-packed pee wee....... This message was sponsered by Omnimax - the halfling kitchen at home
- Calle
Nov. 29th, 2002
Hello everybody. We are jolly happy to announce that we will be participating in your league next season. We are looking forward to all the halftime snacks (hot dogs, popcorn, greased buns etc.) and of course the big post game feast. We will of course keep everybody posted concerning our results in the league, however, more important we are planning to bring to your attention some of the famous recipes from our hometown, Greenfield. That will be all for now - it is time for dinner....
Tummy Paunch
