Eschewing the cold frontiers of Norsca in favor of greener pastures (and playing fields) to the south, the Point-Blank Pillagers started out as a roving army of blood-crazed marauders.
Discovering a disused arena and an inflated pigskins bladder during the sacking of an imperial town, the hard men from the north found the notion of bashing in skulls as part of a sport rather intriguing. As a result they decided to throw down (most of) their weapons, put aside their marauding ways and instead seek glory and fame on the playing field.
Bulletin board from the coach
Feb. 10th, 2016 - old news
Pillagers Sack Trainer
Faulty training regimen and a lack of understanding for the player's needs is apparently the reason why the Point-Blank Pillagers yesterday decided to fire one of the head trainers. The event came in the wake of what was probably one of the bloodiest matches of the season, with the Pillagers suffering more casualties during one half of a match, than most teams do in a lifetime.
The Point-Blank Pillagers otherwise had a decent start to the season. Matched against stronger opponents from the get go, and with a head coach whose only real experience with the sport comes from quote; "reading about it while on the loo", they nevertheless managed field their team against the Human Super Pros and come out of it with little more than a few bruises. And if not for a sudden Blitz by the enemy team during kickoff that ended in a quick touchdown, it might even have ended differently.
All that changed, when the norsemen took to the field against the Mongers of Pain yesterday. The match started fairly well - due to an almost staggering difference in rating, the Pillagers started with 640k worth of inducements, and promptly hired two star players, a halfling chef and one the famous Bloodweiser Babes. Then they paid of the judge with the rest and rolled out... straight into the grinder that was the Mongers of Pain.
With a 6 to Nill score, three linemen (#5 Kolbein Mattisson, #11 Karl Jawbreaker and #12 Halgrimm Helgrimmson) on their way to the Great Golden Halls of the Afterlife and numerous players (#2 Ragnar Horsehair, #3 Rollo of Ravnvake and #6 Arngrim the Salty) unable to play in their upcoming match due to serious injuries, the Pillagers was a broken team as it finally left the pitch.
The only highlight to speak of for the Pillagers in a match that saw norse teeth and broken bodies fly left and right, was the last ditch effort of a frenzied snow troll (#1 Junior), when it managed to claw right through the thick armor of a chaos ogre and disembowel it on the spot. Not even the opposing teams apothecary could put together that mess again.
But the real disaster in the match came afterwards in the locker room, when it was discovered that the much vaunted and sought out Halfling Master Chef had been feeding the norse with a soy-based meat substitute instead of the hearty and filling beer boasted boar ribs the team had originally ordered.
"Tofu!?" the Head Coach was heard screaming, as he fought with the tournament staff in an attempt to gut the Halfling with a dull spoon and stomp on his entrails. "Who the Hells feeds Norsemen tofu?!"
Quick research into the matter showed that there had been a mix up between the menu ordered by the Pillagers, and that of a Elven team using the same chef (it is rumored that the Elves were crying and trying to pet the dish rather than eat it, when they learned what they were having).
Whether this was the cause of the Pillagers abysmal performance (and perhaps the reason Junior tried to eat the ogre's remains), or whether it was the, now sacked, trainers exercise regimen consisting of hugging and talking rather than hitting things is anyone's guess. Whatever the case, the Pillagers need to improve their performance, or risk being sacrificed on the altar before the Dark Gods.
