Publius Quinctilius MacVarus was the inventor of the famous military doctrine: “Know your strengths… and screw them”. Commanding more than 3 legions of the world’s most formidable military power – unbeatable in formation with auxiliary bowmen and cavalry in open field – he chose the march them into the dense thickets of
Teutoburger Wald to completely negate his own advantage. The outcome – a most brilliant defeat to a man named
Hermann – was one of the most ingenious feats of military planning to this day. Knowing that the Roman Empire had overextended itself, a mastermind like MacVarus knew that it was folly to try to extend its sphere of influence into the frigid, godforsaken outback east of the Rhine. Having secured this outcome with his military wizardry, he showed another sign of brilliance by taking his own life so as not to have to walk all the way back to Rome through the already far-stretched empire to report his success to his superiors and have his triumph.
Rumour has it that his touch of brilliance has been handed down to his obscurely-many-great-grandson and namesake, who is already a widely renowned fresh water angler on the Loch Innis Mo-Cholmaig.
DEATH!
Profile
