Alexander MacKolchak was a Russian naval commander in the
Russo-Japanese War. And we all know how well that went. Afterwards he turned to fighting Bolshevism – with just about the same amount of success. He would have been an obvious choice for a blitzer, had he not been a naval officer.
After a few generations in exile in Dunfermline, his great-grandson returned to the Soviet Union and married a
bitch. Distraught that she gained far more notoriety than he did (and worn down by the prison sentence for sodomy), he donned the MacKolchak tartan and joined the Soviet doping program in the hope of becoming a blood bowl player. For two reasons, he failed: 1) the Soviet Union regarded blood bowl as a fascist capitalist entertainment to be shunned, because it would break down the values of Socialist Society, and 2) his complete ineptitude in all matters sports related. This was, of course, no hindrance for pumping him full of steroids anyway – especially the new test drugs. With the fall of the Berlin Wall, MacKolchak is now back in Scotland to follow his dream. Naturally, he had to bribe the coach to get on the team – but have you ever hear of a true
Scotsman rejecting a penny bribe?
Profile
