Cetshwayo MackaMpande was a legendary war chief of the Scottish Zulu tribes during their crushing of the
English insurgence. More hairy than Kynde’s mother and with a battle cry more fearsome than Per’s whining, MackaMpande was a truly formidable opponent on the battle field. His crushing defeat of the English played a key role in dismantling the British Empire and laid the foundation for the fact, that more people from the former colonies now live in England than vice versa. He is one of only a few war chiefs from the Clan MacNiggers ever to gain notoriety north of the Sahara. He died in a strange manicure accident in downtown London. His great-great-great grandson has inherited none of his traits – except obesity, of course.