A.B.MacCunningham was born into an illiterate family on a poor croft in the Orkneys. His mother only ever learned the two first letters of the alphabet – hence his initial letters. MacCunningham initially generated some hype as a naval commander in
a small, now largely forgotten conflict. He was faced with naval operations against the
bravest and most brilliant commanders of the entire conflict – a country which
almost invaded Egypt, which took only slightly higher casualties than the Greeks in their
valiant attempt to subdue them, which needed only a
little help from FitzHitler to become master of the Balkans, and which
bravely conquered Abyssinia after using only minimal amount of chemical warfare against an army partially equipped with iron age weapons. His operations were originally deemed a success, although his opponent bravely stayed in port. This eventually – although God knows why – prompted the knighting of MacCunningham. With his new knighthood and coat of arms came the obligation for a Scotsman to join a clan. He chose to make his own, adopting an anglicized version of his Norse family name “Snu Skinke”. He then set up a cutlery shop in Kirkwall and was eventually awarded the old Norse “Distingverede service-orden” for his fine cutlery – also anglicized into the
“Distinguished Service Order”.
His great-grandson now owns the shop and has no intention of taking up sailing.
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