Percy, the great-great-grandson of the elder
MacHobart is likely mostly remembered for his inventions as a military engineer rather than as a military commander. Of his more useful inventions (or funnies) are often mentioned: the ox cart wheel with singing spokes as well as the pregnancy test for men and the voluntary enfilade when encountering enemy artillery. Legendary were his military boots that could also work as a credit card, his shaving equipment that would scream bad jokes at you and the hand grenade that would smell of fart between 1 and 2 a.m. on weekday mornings. But most useful were likely the lampshade that could double as a bayonet, the ever-expanding toilet purse that would always have a number of rooms divisible by 11 (good for people with
OCD) and the 27 ways to masturbate in complete darkness (an instant hit in the enlisted men’s dormitories). Among his secondary inventions of interest are, of course:
- The coffee pot that would explode when looked upon
- The cordless frying pan
- Norway (for which he was indicted for crimes against humanity)
- The plush velvet underwear that can detect minute metal shavings
- The Yiddish word “putz”
- And the blue magnifying glass that can solve only one arithmetic puzzle (6+13)
Then he died. In his private life, he was married to
the artist formerly known as Kynde’s mot....
DEATH!
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