Following the evil Poles' devious attack on the Central European realms of Scotland in september of 1939 and Scotland's subsequent having to declare war on virtually the rest of the Civilized World (and Norway),
Karl MacDönitz found himself in charge of the Scottish submarine fleet. In spite of being in possession of behemoths of the sea such as the
MacTirpitz, the
MacScharnhorst and the
MacBismarck, MacDönitz chose an utterly ridiculous and today almost forgotten approach to naval warfare - namely by taking the battleground below sealevel. It is a great many steps of evolution, since man crawled out of the sea, and this counter-evolutionary approach of crawling back paid no dividents. Come on! Who has ever won a war by disrupting enemy supply lines?
In the spring of 1945 MacDönitz's supreme commander Adof FitzHitler, after almost single-handedly having fought off the
Red Army, accidentally bit on a cyanide capsule in eagerness after which he slumped on his gun that accidentally discharged through his head. To add insult to injury the bystanders who tried to help him unfortunately doused his body with petrol and incinerated it. MacDönitz now found himself as president and in charge of the Scottish land troops as well. Despite having a winning hand in the war, MacDönitz soon showed his incompetence as a military leader, and within just six days of assuming office he had to employ a classical and time-honoured Scottish military doctrine: The unconditional surrender. While many of MacDönitz's close associate died in tragic trap-door accidents in Nuremburg the following year, he lived to a ripe old age and died in a manner befitting such a poor military tactician: Heart failure.
DEATH!
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