| Old bulletin board |
| Oct. 31st, 2007 |
Well, that was it So ends the first season for the pointy-hatted prygelknaben (perhaps the name of my next team?). They have well and truly earned their vacation at the Zharr-Niggurath Community Hospital, where they will try to lick their wounds a bit before coming back for more in the 20th season. Check out the match notes for our last games - it must be one of the longest match reports of one of the most insignificant games ever. For your viewing pleasure...
No, I think my next team will be called Hammer Time, by the way. How was that dance again? |
| - Troels J |
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| Oct. 31st, 2007 |
Deathrolled I haven't actually tried getting my front teeth wiggled out ever so slowly with a pair of pliers, but it must be somewhat like enduring a five-turn drive against a team of dwarves which get a Perfect Defence against your nine-man-on-the-LoS setup. And the deathroller hadn't even entered the play yet...
Maybe some of you statistics wizards out there can answer this question: shouldn't it be MORE likely to get players KO'd than Injured? Well, in this case the Smakkdowners suffered 8 casualties and I only had two players through the KO box. Well, enough whining, time for some worming-myself-out-of-an-oath instead:
Remember how I said that the team would become The Pink Prügelknaben in next season if ending with a TR below 1000k? Well, TECHNICALLY, I am below that TR, HOWEVER that is due to MNG's which will be ERASED before next season, so ACTUALLY... |
| - Troels J |
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| Oct. 11th, 2007 |
Team Rating Extravaganza The impossible has been achieved. Smakkdown Utd now has a team rating above 1000k! I should have known it would end well, when, immediately after the ref's whistle had started the game and a hush fell over the stadium, the chainsaw goblin facing my Team Captain resolutely decided to chop his OWN head off instead. This was the beginning of a game of utter carnage, in which the Addicted Lunatics suffered a total of seven injuries, including a Troll who had foolishly fallen over between five players. The game also saw a pitch invasion in a snowstorm, in which fully half of the Lunatics were knocked over. Lucky? Perhaps, but when it came to the post match rolls... I have heard wondrous tales about something called an MVP - they are rumoured to be handed out at random after the game, but the odds to get them must be very low, since my team has now managed to play three games since restarting without getting one for one of my regular players. Must be my insistence on saying "anything but a six when rolling"... |
| - Troels J |
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| Oct. 3rd, 2007 |
Setting new goals... Some may have laughed when Smakkdown Utd took to the field with three apothecaries, but the head coach was not surprised when they had all been used at the end of the first half, two of them to avoid player deaths. However, the apos seem to have made their own medical degrees with colour crayons, seeing that the deaths were only reduced to a niggling and a -1 AG. Still, the Odder Undertakers had their own share of bad luck in the second half, so the result 0-1 was quite fair, actually. And it WAS entirely my own fault that, when rolling for MVP I said the Hybris Words: "Anything but a six" (my only mercenary) - I guess I don't need to say what number came up..
A new ultimate goal for Smakkdown Utd has now been set: We vow that we will end the season with a TR above 1000k, so help us Hashut. If not, the team will restart and enter season 20 as the The Pink Prügelknaben. |
| - Troels J |
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| Sep. 25th, 2007 |
The Joys of Marriage.. Talk about grounds for divorce...
The start of the second half, down 1-0 but in possesion of the ball and with a straight unopposed road into the endzone with my Bull Centaur - and my wife calls me in a panic because our three-year-old has woken up with a fever... I arrived home after conceding the match and packing up and Jeppe was sleeping soundly again. Oh, the joys of married life...
The match? Well, the first block of the entire game killed my new Chaos Dwarf Team Captain outright - luckily my Wandering Apothecary patched him up, but of course then he had Wandered off again when my only Star Player "Lucky" Gruzz was then killed in turn three. The second half started with a Perfect Defense against me, which I actually managed to wrangle out of for the touchdown opportunity mentioned above.
I guess what I am trying to say is that, even though the stats may say otherwise:
I AM NOT THE WORST BB COACH IN THE WORLD, REALLY!
Third worst perhaps, that I can accept, but also VERY unlucky.. |
| - Troels J |
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| Sep. 18th, 2007 |
Gradually becoming an undead team... Ok, WHO let Eurobowl Champions into our cozy little Lower Bracket? Rumour has it that they are saving up for a Deathroller - I ask myself why bother when they already have a Trollroller - a cute little orange-haired maniac with Frenzy, Mighty Blow and Piling On.
After the two hired apothecaries had cured permanent injuries in the first half, they really couldn't be bothered to help me in the second when my Team Captain Akmaal Eeb was pushed all in all three squares, and then into the crowd who gave him the Olfert of Death. A short while later, Istvaan al Kr'Batt tried to dodge out of a tackle zone (Chaos Dwarfs dodging - I must have been desperate) on 4+, failed it, rerolled, failed again, then promptly died - presumably from stupidity.
Since then, the team has altered their first-season goals a bit - from Total League Domination before to: Try To Keep Our Limbs And Heads From Being Ripped Off, OK Guys?
Oh, and did it I mention: the MVP was awarded to one of the dead players... |
| - Troels J |
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| Aug. 31st, 2007 |
| Must remember turn counter, must remember turn counter... |
| - Troels J |
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Smakkdown United
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